Maybe I'm Jealous Too
by dancergirl1013
Summary: Out of anger, Amy confesses to Karma that she loves her. Karma turns to Shane for help.
1. Chapter 1

"You _are _jealous," said Amy. "Well, maybe I'm jealous too."

"But you just said that you _don't _like Liam," countered Karma.

Amy shook her head. "You really don't get it, do you?" The tension between the two was building.

"No, I don't. Maybe you should explain why you're suddenly so jealous of me."

"You're so fucking blind, Karma." Amy closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, she continued, "Do you think it doesn't make me sick to my stomach when you talk about Liam all the time? Do you think a part of me doesn't die every time you tell me that you and him kissed? God, Karma, ever since this whole thing started there hasn't been a day when I haven't been reminded that you love him so much more than you'll ever love me." Karma's face twisted with confusion that soon morphed into realization. She was about to say something but Amy didn't give her the chance. Amy stood up, mumbled, "I know you were faking it, but I wasn't," and walked away.

Later that day, Karma called Shane and asked him to come over. "You knew, didn't you?" she asked as soon as he arrived.

"I-uh-no, yes, maybe, could you elaborate please?"

"Amy's in love with me," Karma said, her voice devoid of emotion.

"What?" asked Shane, drawing out the 'a' in an attempt to seem surprised.

"Oh, come on," said Karma, crossing her arms over her chest, "I know you knew."

"Okay, fine. I knew. But since when do you?"

"Since earlier today. We were fighting and she..." Karma sat down on the edge of her bed. "She really loves me?" She didn't know why, but the words made the corners of Karma's mouth curve into a smile.

Shane nodded and sat down next to Karma. "She really does." The two sat there in silence for a few moments before he asked, "So what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know." Karma sighed.

"Well you have to talk to her," said Shane, pointing out the obvious.

"I know," said Karma. "I know. I just don't know what to say."

"Just, I don't know, be honest."

"That's the problem. To be honest I have to tell the truth. And I'm not exactly sure what the truth is."

"I'm not sure I follow," said Shane.

"When Amy and I kissed during the threesome," Karma explained, "I felt something."

"What kind of 'something'?" Shane was intrigued.

"I don't know," said Karma, shaking her head. "I can't describe it. But it was great. I wanted it to last forever." She paused. "But then I freaked out and left." There were tears in her eyes now.

"Don't cry," said Shane, pulling Karma into a hug.

"Can I ask you a question?" Karma asked. Shane nodded. "What do you know about bisexuality?"

Karma and Amy didn't speak again until lunch on Monday, shattering their old record to pieces. "Hi," said Karma as she sat down next to Amy.  
"Hey," said Amy unenthusiastically, barely looking up from her food. After a few minutes, she said, "I'm sorry about what I said the other day. I probably made you uncomfortable."

Karma just shook her head. "No, I'm sorry. I had no idea you felt that way. I'm an awful friend."

"Yeah, you are." Amy smiled and the two girls giggled awkwardly. "Does it freak you out?"

"No," said Karma.

"Really?" asked Amy. "I mean, you _have _spent the last few weeks kissing a lesbian."

Karma recoiled at the word "lesbian." It was the first time Amy had seriously called herself that. "So, you're gay? Like, completely gay?"

"I think so. Is that- is that a problem?" Amy asked hesitantly.

"No, no, of course not," Karma answered quickly. "It's just...why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know until recently. Not until we kissed for the first time."

Karma nodded her understanding and the two sat in awkward silence for a few more minutes. "Can I be completely honest with you?" said Karma eventually. Amy nodded. "The reason I left the threesome wasn't because you and Liam kissed."

"Then why did you leave?"

"Because when you and I kissed...I don't know, it was different from all the other times."

"Different how?"

"I don't know. I liked it, though. I liked it a lot."


	2. Chapter 2

"Can you believe it, Shane?" Amy paced back and forth in her room while talking to Shane on the phone. "I wasn't just imagining it. She felt something. She felt what I felt."

"Slow down, Amy," said Shane. "Don't get ahead of yourself."

"What are you talking about? This is literally the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"I just think that, I don't know, just because Karma said she felt something during the kiss, doesn't necessarily mean she felt the same thing as you." There was a pause, in which Shane was sure Amy was silently cursing him out, before he continued, "What I mean is, when Karma came to talk to me she made it very clear that she was confused and didn't know what she felt. So maybe you should give her time. _You _needed time to process it, remember?"

…

The next day, Karma and Amy saw each other at school but things got awkward when they tried to talk, neither of them knowing exactly what to say. Nevertheless, they had plans to hang out after school. They went to Amy's house, made some popcorn, and watched a few episodes of _House Hunters_. It was exactly like how they'd spent so many other nights together. Yet, something didn't feel right to either of them.

Eventually, Karma worked up the courage to ask the question she desperately needed the answer too. "Was it scary?"

"Huh?" Amy furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"Figuring out you were gay. Was it scary?"

"Try terrifying," chuckled Amy. "Why?"

"I'm scared. I've never felt like this before. It's like I'm not in control of my life anymore."

Amy put her arms around Karma comfortingly. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"So much," answered Karma and Amy looked at her expectantly. "But I don't know how to."

Amy nodded. "I understand." And those two words were just as big a comfort to Karma as if they had talked about it for hours. And so they continued to work their way through the never-ending depths of Netflix.

After a while, the girls noticed it was getting late and Karma decided to go home. She was just about to leave when she turned around to face Amy and said, "What was the kiss like for you? The first one. The one at the homecoming assembly."

Amy was taken aback by the sudden question and thought about it for a moment before answering. "It was weird. But, like, weird in a good way. It was so not what I expected it to be. Like, I leaned in to kiss you thinking it would be just that, a kiss, but..." Embarrassed, Amy stopped talking.

"But instead the world stopped turning, your mind went blank, and the confetti turned into fireworks," said Karma.

"Actually, no." Amy shook her head and giggled. "Close, but no. My mind didn't go completely blank. There was one thought that I couldn't get to leave my brain, no matter how much I wanted it to."

"Yeah?"

"'Oh shit, I'm gay,'" said Amy and the two girls chuckled. "It was like, I don't know, all of a sudden nothing made sense. But, at the same time, everything made sense." She sighed. "And now _that_ didn't make sense."

"No." Karma smiled. "No, I think I know what you mean."

...

Karma walked slowly into the art studio where Liam was hammering away at a strip of metal. She stood there for a minute or two before he noticed her. "Karma." He smiled, putting down his hammer and walking toward her. "What are you doing here?" he asked as he put his hands on her hips and leaned in to kiss her. She pulled away.

"I can't see you anymore," she said. "I'm sorry."

"What? But- but I thought Amy was cool with it."

"It's not Amy." Karma shook her head. "It's me. I'm not okay with this. I thought I was, but I can't keep doing this."

"I'm confused," said Liam.

"Look," said Karma, "I like you. I _really _like you. You're handsome. You're funny. You're exciting." She paused. "But Amy's beautiful. She can make me laugh anytime, anywhere, without even trying. Being with her, it's exhilarating. I've known her practically my whole life. I know her better than I know myself." Karma's face lit up thinking of Amy. "And she knows _me _better than I know _myself_."


End file.
